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Personality Disorder Horoscopes

My site is called Abnormal Astrology after all, so why not incorporate some abnormal psychology? There are only 10 personality disorders in the DSM-IV (there will be even less in the DSM-V), so a couple of them are assigned twice…kind of like the planetary bodies! Hey, look at that. Cool beans.

Before reading, I feel like I must say that you more than likely do not actually have a personality disorder. They are rare. The symptoms may sound like you, but they should be taken to the extreme before even considering the possibility of a disorder, so don’t read this or delve into more research and go running to the psychiatrist for a diagnosis. Do go if you really think there’s something wrong…but if there actually was something wrong, you probably wouldn’t even think so. That’s just my unprofessional opinion. Anyway…

Aries – Antisocial. Yeah, I usually relate Scorpio to homicidal maniacs, but…Aries…your main concern is yourself. If being a dick had a sign, it would be Aries.

Taurus – Dependent. More like co-dependent.

Gemini – Borderline. It’s almost as if you’re two people.

Cancer – Avoidant. You carry a protective shell around with you that you can just crawl up into anytime you want. Probably because you are super tasty with butter sauce, so maybe you have good reason to hide.

Leo – Narcissistic. If anyone’s going to die because of staring at themselves too much, it’s going to be you, you sexy beast.

Virgo – Obsessive-Compulsive. Worry much?

Libra – Paranoid. You’re a big fan of conspiracy theories. They just make sense. You think people are evil, yet you somehow believe in the good of humankind. Make up your damn mind.

Scorpio – Histrionic. You have a certain something, but it takes a while before people realize that something is crazy, and by then it’s too late.

Sagittarius – Schizotypal. Magical thinking? Eccentric? So…what’s the problem?

Capricorn – Schizoid. Someone wasn’t hugged enough as a child.

Aquarius – Schizotypal. At your best, you look like the mad scientist. At your worst, you look like the guy on the subway talking to the seat.

Pisces – Borderline. Just like Gemini, you are a sign of duality. Psychopathic, unstable duality.


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    “If being a dick had a sign, it would be Aries.” :| :| :| >:|
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    Personality Disorder Horoscopes My site is called Abnormal Astrology after all, so why not incorporate some abnormal...
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